LIFO® MARRIAGE STYLES APPLICATIONS

Allan Katcher, Ph.D.

I. Improving Insight and Mutual Understanding

 A. Self-Understanding: In much the same way as the regular managerial application, each partner can review his/her own styles and recognize the special strengths and talents, the possible excesses and the blind spots. They can be asked to identify implications for the other person and/or see areas where they have difficulty coping with the excesses of the other person (i.e. areas of threat or frustration). They can work through efforts to establish planned programs for extending their own styles, capitalizing, augmenting, etc. They can also get in touch with their reasons for being attractive to the other person (admiration of strengths) and learn to exhibit those behaviors more frequently.

 B. Understanding the Other: Mutual exchange concerning styles can first confirm or refute knowledge of the other person. By examining how each member reacts to situations, the couple can reach a broader understanding and appreciation of differences. Each member can be asked to:

  1. Identify strengths they admire and appreciate in the other person - see how those strengths could be used more in the relationship.
  2. Recognize how the blind spots can be augmented by the other pair member.
  3. Contract or negotiate for ways in which they each can extend their styles, deal with differences and control excesses.
  4. See how styles under unfavorable conditions enable conflicts to be resolved and/or stresses to be handled by the couple. Couples can spend time developing ground rules to deal with the excesses and to define ways they can help each other when in excess.
  5. Checking perceptions of each other. LIFO questionnaires can be used so one takes the Marriage LIFO from self-perception viewpoint and then again as the partner is perceived. Actual vs. perceived information can then be compared.
  6. The LIFO Communications Workbook can be used to build better communication habits.

 II. Couple Management

A. To set realistic goals for the couple, allowing for the differences between members.

B. Plan for marriage functioning concerning key issues such as:

  1. Use of resources
  2. Use of time
  3. Decision-making
  4. Scheduling events
  5. Personal growth requirements
  6. Managing conflict
  7. Degrees of separateness vs. intimacy
  8. Modes of relaxation and fun
  9. Modes of recognition, appreciation and feedback

Copyright © 2006 by Business Consultants Network. For use only by licensed LIFO® Trainers.
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