Marriage Seminar Exercises

Fantasies

Make up a story around the following themes:

The skeleton in the closet
The Naked You
The Seductive You
The Dramatic You
The New You

Share and discuss with each other

Time Perspective

Imagine you are sitting in your home 10 years from now and all the things have happened that you would want to occur. Describe on paper and discuss this with each other.
Repeat this process imagining that you are sitting in your home 5 years from now.
Repeat this process imagining that you are sitting in your home 1 year from now.
Repeat this process imagining that you are sitting in your home 6 mos. from now.
Discuss:
- How consistent or inconsistent were the images?
- How realistic?
- If you really want this to happen, what can you do now to plan to realize your fantasy?

Worry Differential Exercise

Discuss one or more of the following questions, paying attention to the similarities and differences in your responses and how each of you feels about the similarities and difference. Negotiate a sharing of responsibilities in a manner that both of your feel comfortable with..

Who brings the children to the dentist?
Who takes the children to sports events?
Who gives them money for lunch?
Who worries about paying the bills?
Who disciplines the children?
Who buys them toys?
Who makes sure the children are dressed properly?
Who decides on the vacation?
Who buys the groceries?
Who makes sure the house is presentable?
Who remembers parental birthdays?
Who makes saves the family saves, invests and is solvent?
Who makes sure the children are educated properly?
How are such responsibilities allocated?
How do you feel about the concern or lack of it?
What appreciation, regard and allocation of attention should take place so that you both feel satisfied?

Techniques for coping with stress

Contract with each other for support, For example, share:

"When I am stressed, I find it most helpful when you _________."
"When I am stressed I need most from you __________"
How can we learn to help each other?

Romance

Discuss one or more of the following issues"

What did we used to like?
What we would like to rescue from the past?
What we never tried and would like to do now? (Live a fantasy?).
How can we break our habit barrier? Schedule some new events, tryouts, etc.
Commitment exercise, with scheduling measurement, feedback and repeated trial.
For the marriage dialogue exercise you may also want to ask the couple:
How did it feel to do such an exercise?
How often do you engage in such sharing?
How successful do you feel you are in communicating such feelings to your partner?
How much would you like to get/give from your relationship with your partner.
How can we use each other’s strengths more in the relationship?